When Rose Is Shopping
by Creator-Sama
Summary: What Does the Doctor do to keep himself from going after Rose when she's shopping? THIS! 10/Rose if you cross your eyes and squint. XP


"I'm going shopping Doctor. Be back soon!" Rose said as she walked out the door of the Tardis.

The Doctor's hand popped out from a hole in the grating below the console. "Later! Bring me back some jelly babies!" came his muffled reply, then the hand dissapeared back under the grating.

Rose smiled and shook her head. He may be eccentric and childish, but he was fun. And cute. Can't forget that.

As soon as she'd left and the Doctor heard the click of the lock behind her, his head popped out of the hole in the grating. He looked around a bit as if he had been in the middle of explaining something and just realized nobody had been in the room for awhile. His face slowly split into a maniacal grin. He was definately scheming something.

He hopped out of his little hole in the grating and straightened his coat, but didn't bother to pat off the dust on his knees, elbows and shoulders. "About time. I thought she'd _never_ leave!" he said to nobody in particular and tucked his sonic screwdriver into a pocket and sauntered off with a casual but crafty look in his eyes.

--

Later...

--

Rose sighed. She hated shopping. Absolutely _hated_ it. Especially on Saturdays. It was always a zoo! She just wanted to get home to the Tardis, put the groceries away and relax and listen to her iPod.

And now her arms hurt. Great.

She saw the Tardis and shuffled around a bit to get to her key. She didn't pay attention to the faint music coming from the other side of the door. The Doctor liked to listen to strange music when she wasn't there. Especially when he was repairing something. She just figured he didn't like the quiet.

She finally got the door open and went inside. One song was just ending as she closed the door. She turned around...And dropped both her bags and her jaw.

The Doctor... was DANCING.

Skipping and hopping around the center console and bopping random bits here and there. Ocassionally picking something up and using his screwdriver on it, then placing it somewhere else.

_I hold your hand in mine, dear._

_I press it to my lips._

AND SINGING!!

Rose nearly stopped breathing. His voice was amazing. Even if he _was_ singing it slightly off-key and being goofy about it.

_I take a healthy bite from_

_Your dainty fingertips._

The Doctor mocked taking a bite of his own finger. Rose was in shock. Was that song talking about a disembodied hand?!

_My joy would be complete, dear._

_If you were only here._

Yep. Definately a song about a disembodied hand. The Doctor made a hop and clicked his heels together before landing.

_But still I keep your hand as_

_A precious souvenier._

Rose DID stop breathing at that point. Her eyes also bugged out. The Doctor finally noticed her. "Hi Rose!" he said cheerily and waved.

_The night you died, I cut it off._

_I really don't know why._

Rose's mouth opened and closed a few times as she remembered to breathe. She looked a bit like a fish... And the Doctor told her so. "You look like a fish doing that." He grinned even wider and almost skipped over to her.

_For now, each time I kiss it_

_I get bloodstains on my tie._

"It's gonna play again! Come dance with me!" He grabbed her hand and started dancing her away from the door. She didn't know why, but her feet were following him, not staying where she was like she'd wanted them to.

_I'm sorry now I killed you_

_For our love was something fine._

She managed to remove her hand from his.

_And till they come to get me_

_I shall hold your hand in miiiine!!_

"STOP!" Rose shouted at him and his grinned dropped. He whacked a spot on the console and the music stopped just as the song started to repeat.

"What's wrong, Rose?" He didn't understand why she didn't like his music.

"What's wrong? That's a song about a disembodied hand!!"

She was starting to turn pink. The doctor wondered if it was a blush or anger. "Yeah. So?"

""SO?"" she nearky screamed. Yep. definately anger. "Doctor, that's disgusting!!"

"No it's not! You hafta understand where this song came from!" he tried to explain.

"Alright. Fine. Help me understand." She figured if she understood, maybe she'd get to watch him sing and dance again. A thought that seemed to calm her more than anything else at that moment.

"Weeell..." and he reached into his pocket and started pulling things out. "Hang on... I gotta find something."

He pulled out several items. Making comments on each one as he did so.

A stuffed squirrel. "Huh?"

A wedding ring. "Umm... yeah."

Bedsheets with Hello Kitty on them. "...not mine."

A Gamecube controller. "Hmm... where is it?"

A violin. "Where did THAT come from?"

A rotten banana. "I was wondering where you got to..."

A bloody wedding veil. "...goes with the ring..."

A sash that says "Miss America" on it. "Heh heh. My last trip to the states."

A book titled "The Human Anatomy". "...Jack left it here."

A hard-boiled egg. "Tommorrows breakfast."

A pair of pink lacy underpants. Rose's eyes bugged out and she slapped him. "Are those MY knickers?!" The Doctor shoved them into another pocket. "...nope."

Hot pink nail polish. "Jack's."

A leopard-print speedo. This time the Doctor's eyes bugged out. "Are those yours Doctor?" Rose asked with a sly grin. "Absolutely not!" he said... and shoved them into the same pocket as the lacy undies.

A rubber chicken. He grinned and hit Rose over the head with it playfully.

"AHA!!" he finally announced as he pulled out a CD case and read the back of it. "Tom Lehrer. His lyrics, his music, his so-called voice, and his piano." He handed her the case as if that explained everything.

Rose gave him one of her patented "Not-getting-out-of-it-that-easily-this-time-Doctor" looks.

He sighed. "Oh alright. Tom Lehrer is a 50s and 60s musician who wrote political and social satire into his music. The New York Times once commented "Mr. Lehrer's muse is not fettered by such inhibiting factors as taste." And he's quite funny besides, Rose. You should meet him sometime." And he gave her his best winning smile.

She sighed. She had such a hard time being mad at him when he gave her that smile! It was just so cute!! "Alright." she gave in with a laugh.

Taking that as his cue he hopped up, started shoving things back into his pockets, and then whacked a spot on the console to start up the music again.

Rose watched the Doctor as he spun about some, crossed his eyes and did a silly dance completely out-of-sync with the song from earlier. She burst out laughing as soon as he pulled out his sonic screwdriver and began singing into it, pretending it was a microphone.

"I hold your hand in mine, dear." he began to sing as it played for the third time. Rose had stopped laughing to watch him goof off. He grabbed her by the hand as he sang this and pulled her to dance around with him. "I press it to my lips." And he did.

"I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips." He started to fake-bite her hand and she squealed with laughter.

Rose pulled the screwdriver from his hand and laughed/sang the next line. "My joy would be complete, dear, if you were only here."

The Doctor stole it back and sang while she danced around the console. "But still I keep your hand as a precious souvenier!"

She ran past him and took the screwdriver out of his hand to sing into the 'mic'. "The night you died, I cut it off." He gave an offended look and chased after her. "I really don't know why."

She squealed as he caught her around the middle and sang into his screwdriver. "For now each time I kiss it.." he kissed the top of her head. "...I get bloodstains on my tie!!"

She flipped his tie up into his face and managed to escape with his screwdriver. She walked away from him as if it were just her in the room, singing into an alien's sonic device. "I'm sorry now I killed you, for our love was something fine!!"

She was suddenly hoisted over his shoulder and her arm was twisted around so he could sing the last bit of the song into the makeshift microphone. "Until they come to get me, I shall hold your hand in miiiiine!!"

She wiggled around and he fell onto his rump in a fit of giggles. Rose squirmed free and sat next to him in a simmilar state.

--

The Doctor had finally managed to finish his repairs and was surfing the web on Rose's laptop. He liked to google himself every so often. He wanted to know how much the world knew about him. whether or not he needed to erase himself from the 'net again.

"Hmm?" What was this? He was on Youtube? "Gotta see this." He figured it was just any doctor doing something weird.

It wasn't.

It was him.

Dancing.

From earlier.

With Rose.

"Who... how did this... who..." he then noticed the name of who put it up.

TardisTravellerRose

"ROSE!! WHAT"S THIS?!"

"Sorry Doctor!" she shouted back. "Couldn't resist!"

--  
--

YEP!! Total crack!!

I know. I couldn't stand NOT writing it though!! I heard that song and this popped into my head! XD

It's a response to my own challenge! XP (Told'ja I would.)

**Read and Review! **


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